The joys of public travel

Ah yes! Today's blog will feature the public transport system here in Krakow. In actual fact, it's pretty good and it's amazing how adept you can become at negotiating the city on buses, trams and on foot even when you don't have a car.

We live near a tram depot which is linked to several buses. This is terrific as we don't have to worry about getting to work or to town or even to the other side of the city - as I had to do a few weeks ago.

Let's talk about the 138. I walk about 6 minutes to the stop and along it comes. Now in the morning you have to very careful as the woolly hat brigade are out in force! These elderly women are on the prowl for food! By that I mean they are off to market. Old habits die hard and they do this every day it's open! Not for them the Tescos or Real supermarkets. Oh no! They elbow their way onto the bus and look for seats. And woe betide you if you are sitting where they want to sit!! They have two methods of moving you. Number 1. The pathetic look accompanied by heavy sighs and/or coughing fit. You feel obliged to move. Number 2. The LOOK. ..... You move! Not exactly subtle but there you are. Many a grown man has quaked in his boots and trembled with fear as these haridans of the potato queue descend in force!

Drivers of the 138 have been specially trained at the Schumacher School of bus driving! Hurtle along the straights, yank the bus on the bends - and the special of the day? Slam on those brakes as hard as possible and watch as passengers fly forwards tumbling over each other with much "Chory" ("Sh--") or Praszam -sorry.

And then there are those denizens of the Kontrole. These are innocuous looking individuals who board the bus or tram, and wait till it has started. Then with a mighty cry of "Kontrole!!" they rip open their jackets, show their official badges and brandishing their electronic scanners proceed to examine tickets! Many a tear has been shed as the ticket avoider is nabbed and fined on the spot! Not us I hasten to add -we have monthly tickets that we renew at the machine.

Trams are great fun. The old stock here is gradually being replaced but for ease of travel - that's the way to go. I can quite literally go from north to south or east to west. In winter they can be a bit chilly - specially the older ones, but now that Spring is here the windows are open and a trip in the tram is not to be missed. The city even has a special cafe tram -haven't tried it yet but we might later.

Instead of the bus grannies there are the tram drunks. These specialists have refined the moving pub. They stand at the back of the tram and suriptitiously sip their cans of 7% beer. This is highly naughty - just as on the buses, but they still do it. In extreme cases they can even be found slumped in a seat - nar the back of course. Funniest is when the tram reaches the depot and everyone gets off - except Mr Boozey. he stays asleep and can be seen going all the way round the track to start again! Presumably he wakes up somewhere on the way back wondering where the hell he is!

I haven't talked about trains although I will just mention that I can get home by train! It's a 4 minute ride and not worth sitting down. However, I am waiting as they are about to start the integrated ticket system so my monthly ticket will cover buses, trams and city limit trains... then I'll use them much more.

And there we have it for today. I will now go to work - on the 138! But as it's afternoon I won't get the woolly hat brigade -I'll get the granny brigade - complete with child from school in tow. But I'm not afraid - much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!